Track star Kiana Phelps survives and thrives despite taunts, trauma

KINGSLEY, Ia. — Kiana Phelps steps into the throwing ring and enters her own zone.

It’s an area that she alone controls. She can focus on tossing the discus to a record-shattering distance, drawing gasps from a crowd. It’s far from school hallways where she may be ignored or belittled, or social media battlegrounds where she can be insulted. It’s a place where she can briefly put away haunting grief over her sister’s deadly struggle with anorexia.

The throwing ring is safety, security and unrivaled success. Kiana’s World.

Phelps will walk into the state track meet ring Friday at Drake Stadium to cap her career as the greatest high school discus thrower to ever compete in Iowa. She has the top girls discus throw in Iowa high school history and has a chance to become the only athlete to win four state and four Drake Relays championships in the event.

The determination and devotion that has earned her a scholarship to Oregon's elite college track program — and brought dreams of competing in the Olympics someday — will reach its final stage in prep competition. That public spotlight, which has brought both pride and pain to her in high school, will fade.

Phelps has channeled her emotions into stardom, turning life negatives into athletic positives.

"I chose track, and I chose to put everything into track," she said.

Choosing a path

Phelps' track skills put her in the Iowa record book and into a select group of elite athletes.

But it wasn't easy for her. There were long days of practicing her technique or lifting weights. Her efforts resulted in throwing the discus 179-7, the state's all-time best. She owns the state meet record of 166-4, set a year ago.

Like a Broadway-bound theater star or an academic wunderkind, she drew media attention like no other student at Kingsley-Pierson High School. But that wasn't always a blessing.

She didn't run with the pack. Phelps decided that some of her friends were making bad choices. She had big goals in mind, even if it meant limiting her social life.

"There comes a point that you've got two paths to choose," she said. "I kind of chose to be different. I chose to be a critical thinker."

Phelps has a strong personality: confident, ambitious and even flamboyant. She's traveled to more than half a dozen states and Cuba to compete in track and represent the United States. The media covered her success every spring.

This created resentment among some of her fellow students. Some of the bullying Phelps and her family say she has encountered: Social media photos of her working out accompanied with rude and sarcastic comments; teases for holding a college letter of intent signing ceremony at her school and a social media post that suggested Phelps only gets attention because her older sister had died of anorexia.

The Phelps family never filed a formal report with the school concerning the bullying — and Scott Phelps, Kiana's father, said they have no complaints about how it was handled by the school district.

Still, the words stung.

"It's like crabs trapped in a bucket, trying to get out," Kiana said. "They try to grab you by the leg and bring you down."

The form of harassment she endured is called "social relational bullying" — when someone tries to say hurtful things to put down a victim's success — according to Penny Bisignano, the state coordinator for a national bullying prevention program.

Phelps had fame, but it was too much for some of her critics. Social relational bullying is on the rise in Iowa schools and workplaces, Bisignano said.

"They can really change the life of someone, no matter how well they're doing, no matter how successful they are," Bisignano said.

About a year ago, Kiana's family members contacted an attorney who specializes in cyber bullying. The family was advised to capture and print online insults, which ebbed away.

It isn't the first time an elite Iowa high school athlete has been bullied.

Alex Gochenour, a former Logan-Magnolia track star who is now a senior All-American on the Arkansas Razorbacks' women's track and field team, said she has similar experiences to Kiana's.

Gochenour chose to avoid alcohol as a high school student and was harassed because of it. When she focused on her goal of attending a big college or displaying a tireless work ethic in her sport, she was teased.

"You have to have a really thick skin," Gochenour said, who added she lost friends.

Her advice to others who are victims: "As hard as it is, you have to look at the big picture," she said. "You have a whole life ahead of you."

A death in the family

Kiana Phelps followed in the family's pursuit of throwing the discus and shot.

Her dad, Scott, was a Drake Relays discus champ in high school and went on to compete in college. All four of his kids became throwers, too.

Kiana, who competes for Kingsley-Pierson/Woodbury Central, will participate in both events at the state meet, which starts Thursday in Des Moines. One of her brothers, Nick, a sophomore, will contend to win titles in both, too.

An older brother, Colton, is a freshman member of Northern Iowa's track team.

Kiana says she looked up to her older sister, Krista, who died just two days after she finished sixth in the discus at the state track meet in 2010.

Krista was a sophomore who battled anorexia. It's a matter that still churns up emotions in the Phelps household.

"We went through about 10 months of hell," said Laura Phelps, Kiana's mother. "It's a terrible club that you don't want to be a member of."

The family has a collection of photographs of Krista stored in an envelope. Among the images of her is a shot of a rainbow the family spotted on a trip to the Black Hills not long after she died.

"It's kind of like our penny from heaven," Laura said.

Krista's death hurt Kiana. She has poured her pain into workouts and competition.

"I found throwing as my release," Kiana said. "That was my savior, I guess."

The last shot

Kiana writes her goals next to a mirror in her bedroom, where she can look at them every day.

Some are lofty; some are more personal, in the case of those past online insults.

Her brother Nick said he uses an unconventional method of preparing for a meet, too: He takes a wooden stake, about five feet high, and marks the distance that a foe has thrown the shot. Then he attaches a photo of the rival. He tries to toss the weight past that mark.

B.J. Mulder, a Kingsley-Pierson physical education teacher who is a strength and conditioning coach at the school, says Kiana is a rare athlete.

​"She is the most mentally tough girl I've worked with," said Mulder, who has been at the school for more than 30 years. "She's a relentless, relentless athlete.

"I don't think people grasp what level of an athlete she is."

Kiana's last meet awaits; her final throws in Iowa high school competition are days away.

She'll step into that world she owns. None of the hurt and disappointment she's experienced will stop her.

"I am who I am," Kiana said.